Review

The new issue of The Southeast Review is out with a story of mine in its pages. I submitted it while I was still in Michigan. Not sure if that means anything.
Story is called "Hadron".

A Not So Interesting Take On the Application Of Pressure

Once upon a time there were a group of people that I went to breakfast with every morning. Because we all worked second shift, we all had our mornings together, and therefore had breakfast... in the morning. Then one day, due to tragedy and poor decisions, they took first shift jobs, during our breakfast time...in the morning. When I said to them, "since you chose to work first shift, we can't have breakfast together," I said it because I was sad, and it was reality, not because I didn't want to have breakfast with them. Then, the end.

Climbing Stairs, Or Climbing a Ladder, I'll Take The Latter and Stare at My Climbing

Loft living day number...two? The ceilings are high, which is good because I'm now living in the ceiling. I have some books spread out, clothes spread out, bedspread spread out. Still feel lost and a bit dreamy, as in, I'm in a dream of some sort. Not a bad one, not a good one, but a strange one. And in the dreamscape world, "strange" means things are normal. There are no donkeys eating pineapple, or floating clouds of gummy bears, or burping spiders that quote Chaucer. It's the normal that make this dream weird. How my life has changed at the roots, the routines, the routes, facing a different direction. Then I realize, am realizing, will have realized, had realized, that this is not a dream, not the future, not the past, but is happening now. And then I feel lost again. Unable to see beyond those routines. It's the feeling that I expect to wake up soon, so I need not worry about the end of the day, or the end of the week, or this huge gaping hole in the center of me, or this emptiness, or these arms and legs and eyes and ears I'm missing. I need not worry about the thing that was lost, because when I awake it won't be lost, but then I will have had realized that "I" was the thing that was lost, lost in all the tenses, all the repeats. I should worry, though, because through worry comes dreaming. The type of dreaming where I'm at the finish line and I've won. The type of dreaming where everyone is clapping and I slow motion smile and nod and pump my fist at my victory. Without worry, I can't dream. The right kind of worry. I do worry, though. I'm weary from it, actually. I'm worried about the heaps of anger, heaped up in a corner, so heaping it's about to tumble and take me with it, until I'm swimming in mixed metaphors. I need that lofty dreaming to feel focused, because when I'm focused, I am living.

Moving Day Part Twenty Seven

Words and their reality weigh me down. I'm down town. I'm down. Extra down. I don't want to be down with the down. These are just words of reflection on an otherwise strange day. My whole world is something different now, and I feel half empty-- full of half empty. But the sun is out on a fantastic looking Oregon day. The sky is a different blue here than the blue everywhere else. The sun is a different sort of bright as well. Especially the early February sun. It's a different sun coming through different windows.

Blah Aug

I would dive into the details. But, what difference would that make? I could go into the ins and outs. But that would only confuse those on the outs and upset those on the ins. I could detail all the diving. But that would require a set of definitions and parameters to begin. I could start at the beginning. But the end is what's at the beginning.

Doritos Pushing Flavor Envelope With New Envelope Flavored Doritos

TORONTO, ON—Scientists at the Frito-Lay CERN lab (Doritos Division) announced that they have successfully created the first Envelope Flavored Doritos after several months of failed attempts and setbacks that many thought would endanger the whole program.

"After we created Chutney Seltzer Doritos so easily, we thought we could do this," lead scientist and spokesman, Fred Hansen, said in an interview last week.

But problems with the chip reactor core, and the salt infusion collider created even more obstacles for the already challenging endeavor.

However, after several repairs and test runs, the Flavor Enabling Reactor Matrix Initiator, located deep underground Toronto, was able to produce the long sought after flavor.

When asked why they tried for such difficult one, Hansen said, "When we did Dirt [Flavored Doritos], the matrix was already aligned for something more daring. So, why not?"

And after the recent success of Breast Milk Doritos, and the infamous Anti-Taco Doritos, Hansen felt they had to push the flavor boundaries.

While the first attempts concentrated on the semi-sweet, glue-like substance that many envelopes have for sealing, it became clear that something else was needed.

"That [glue-like sealing flavor] was mostly hooves and Xanthan gum. Piece of cake," Hansen said, alluding to the ease of the successful Piece of Cake Doritos that are still for sale in Sault Ste. Marie, and other boarder cities. But his team wanted to go big.

The challenge, he went on, was the starchy, grainy texture of an actual envelope. U-Line brand, business class was the specific type.

"We kept getting U-Line small mailing box flavor, or the occasional 20 pound cardstock, but that's not what we were after," Hansen said.

According to the official press release issued by Frito Lay (the makers of Doritos), it wasn't until the team decided to try two extremely unconventional and controversial tactics, that they had success.

One, they slowed the collider down by almost 5%.

And two—they didn't add any salt.

When asked what the next flavor would be after so many successes, Hansen grinned and said,

"The big one. Chip Flavored."

New Hear Here Year Here

Head on over here for a link to a fine little publication. (Invisible Girl.)  It will be good for you and your soul. I'm waiting for the print version with the bad-ass cover, which I hear is coming, this year.

Also, I guess it's no go on the fake news writing. Unless I post things here. Which I might.

Also, in other news, but not news about fake news... this year's waiting game begins. While I'm waiting for the game, I take comfort in the hope that I at least pushed the start button. So, I'm starting to wait.